Wednesday, August 29, 2007

More Than Merely Treading Water

My husband and older daughter, who is nearing seven, were in the pool the other day, and I was watching from the sidelines. She is learning to swim little by little and it's her Daddy who is doing all the teaching. He never sits her down and says "Now Phoebe, we are going to have a swim lesson." He plays with her, encourages her, and guides her.

I watched her climb out of the pool and stand at the side, readying herself to jump into her father's open arms. She was the tiniest bit fearful but knew he would catch her. "Daddy, you stand right there." She jumped and I watched him inch back so she would swim just a little further than she believed she could. This went on all day, until suddenly she was swimming the width of the pool. The little girl who thought she could swim a few feet had suddenly conquered the pool. It was beautiful to watch. She beamed with a new found confidence. She knew that she had been forever changed and she really could swim.

My journey with Eden has been much like this. I never would have imagined on March 10th that I would be able to, not only float out here in this sea of blind faith... but that I would be able to swim. I can do this because I trust my Heavenly Father not to let me drown. I may not understand the point of him stretching my faith like He has, but I know when I reach the other side of this ocean His plan will be perfect.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Eden's heartbeat

My daughter came with me to my last midwife appointment. She used her new camera to record her sister's heartbeat. When I hear this I have hope for the life inside of me.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Family Ties

Today was a very nice day. Lunch with my bible study ladies, here at the house, we were celebrating a birthday and also blessing my home.

We've been here for less than 4 months and we've had issue after issue... mostly small and annoying but still. I had wanted to anoint the house with oil but never did in all the chaos...

As a group of women, some old enough to be my mother or grandmother...some even a bit older, walked through each room of my house...we laughed and joked...and prayed. As the blessings were spoken over a kitchen full of conversation, kids rooms filled with peace, and even a bedroom filled with love, I was struck by the amazing provision of these ladies.

Each one carries her own baggage and hurts, but each was here to bless a transplant from another country, or me, a mother in the midst of her greatest struggle. It is truly a gift from God to be blessed in such a way. And once again they spoke life over Eden...even words of joy over my older daughters room, that she be able to share her room with her sister.

I was reminded of the time in my life before I found God or accepted His gift of perfect love through His son, Jesus. I used to feel terribly lonely and empty. I had good parents and I had a handful of friends, but I always wondered if there was anyone to whom I truly mattered. I fantasised about becoming ill and being hospitalized, wondering if anyone would come to see me. I have said before, that God filled that void instantly on the day I allowed myself to see Him, and that is true. But today, and all along this journey, I am filled to overflowing.

Being a part of the family of God is so much more than doctrine or rules. It is to belong in a way never even fathomed before. It is to be fully embraced, loved, protected, and natured. It is to be filled so much that you have nothing else to do but give some away.

We may not always get it right, but this family is so beautiful.

I have also been blessed by friends from afar, I recieved a quilt and a box of cards and notes from women all over the country and into Canada yesterday. It touches me to see that, no matter what, Eden has touched lives already.