Monday, November 03, 2008

Can scarcely speak the words

It is with a heavy heart that I write that my pregnancy has ended.

To say say we are devastated is an understatement. My mind cannot seem to reconcile this heartbreak so soon after the first birthday of Eden. This loss has shaken my faith to it's very core, yet almost despite myself, I can still see God trying to show me compassion...

The ultrasound last Thursday showed that, while I was pregnant, a baby had never formed. This is key for me at this point. Our loss is still great, visions of a sumer spent with a newborn in our arms are gone, and we mourn them. We mourn the sleepless nights and first smiles. We mourn the dreams we had for our family. Yet for me, if I were mourning another child who lived and died before I ever got to really know it, I'd be broken in wholly different ways.

I am glad I wrote so much of God revealing himself to me in the darker times in Eden's life because I need the reminders.

Please continue to pray for us as we struggle through this new heartbreak.

10 comments:

Finding Normal said...

Oh honey. I hate reading this, and I hate that you had to write it. I hate that you've lost another precious one, and I hate that you're in such pain right now. I hope you will find some peace soon. I'll be lifting you up in prayer. :*(

staceelianna said...

i love you so very much. and i know you know this already, but if any of you need ANYTHING im here.

Hattie said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers :(

Krista said...

I have no words.

((((((Alexis)))))

Jessica said...

My dear friend,
My heart breaks right along with you. I will continue to pray for His strength and that peace that we can not fully comprehend.
And, in the midst of all the pain, I will pray for joy unspeakable, that only He can provide.
Even now, I pray for comfort for the Anderson Family. Open their eyes to see a glimpse of your plan, Lord, so that they may see you glorified, even in this loss.
I love you...

sharkiepatronus said...

I ditto everything everyone said. Whatever you need, whenever. I'm here.

Jessica (Secret Grief) said...

I am so sorry to hear your news and so understand the mourning. Keep leaning on Jesus and know that his love will again carry you through this time. Journey's such as ours are truly difficult and my prayers are with you.

JNSexton555 said...

Thinking of you and your family Alexis!!! {{{HUGS!!!}}}

Miss Candice said...

I am so sorry to hear that it didn't work out the way you had hoped. But you have to hang onto that faith and know that God has never turned His back on you or your family. He knows what is best. I love you guys so much, and I am always here to talk if you need. I will be keeping you in my prayers *hugs*

Anonymous said...

thank you