Thursday, April 05, 2012

It's silly really...

Tonight I am debating about switching blog platforms, about buying a domain, about changing things up. Nothing earth shattering. And then the thought hits...

"Well, it would be silly to move *both* blogs."

And I almost can't breathe for the mere idea of leaving *this* blog behind.

I feel nearly suffocated by the thought.

Like I'd be leaving this small monument to my precious baby behind.

It feels like I'd be leaving her.


By herself.

And the thought of that is crippling.

Most days I just miss Eden in the background. Life moves forward and is busy.

Then something like this happens and there is no air and the ache in my chest makes me feel hollow.

Oh baby, I miss you so much.


Marfa said...

Wish I had more articulate words, "I love this post!" <3

Karen Mehta said...

Hi Alexis,

I just "next blogged" into you blog and have been so touched by your story. I am a mum of a special needs child. He is just about to celebrate his 14th birthday but during his earlier years there was every possibility that he might not live very long. We have prayed long and hard for him to be healed and have sort out every opportunity to help him through the miracles of modern medicine and science.
I was talking about healing with my pastor recently, and we discussed the fact that God will heal Kiran, it is just a question of when - will it be now or in Heaven. I know at some point I will hear my little boy speaking fluently and understanding everything around him, free of the damaged genetic material that hold him back right now.
I believe the same for you and Eden too. God bless you and your family x

Alexis said...


Somehow your comment got lost in moderation...

Thank you for taking the time to leave such sweet words.

I pray that you get your healing here...but that if God waits...that your hope in it never flickers.